ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
