Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I need a burrito and a hug.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
