If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize