I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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