I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
