Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
