Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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