some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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