Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
