So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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