The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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