I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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