But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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