sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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