Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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