2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
found the other keg... it's in the tree
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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