remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
