It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
