We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Welp...herpes.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
