I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
My vagina just recognized that song.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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