You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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