Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Bring me that man meat
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
