Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
