do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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