Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
