why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
