Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
