she looked like the bat from fern gully.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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