I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
