i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Randomize
