they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
