Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize