this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
