Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
