I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I got inside last night via doggy door
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
