It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Randomize