Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
