Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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