Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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