Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
