She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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