Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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