I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
