I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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