Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
