He had one of those small greek statue penises
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
