all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
