awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I think I sprained my soul last night
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
