I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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