I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
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