Dude my mom stole all your condoms
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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