Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
