nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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