I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You dont lie about slip and slides
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
