like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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