Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
