Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
