there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Randomize
