If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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