so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
