just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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