If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Randomize
