Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize