Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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