i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
