I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
