she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
