what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
