Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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