I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
