sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
