I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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