She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize