JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Randomize
